Hadith Of The Week – Volume 03 Issue 38
When Desire Becomes a Source of Humiliation
Occasion of reflecting on this Hadith: 8 Rabi‘ al-Thani: The blessed birth anniversary of Imam Hasan al-‘Askari (peace be upon him)
Introduction
On this special occasion, it is valuable to reflect on one of Imam Hasan al-‘Askari (peace be upon him) profound teachings about our desires and attachments:
امام حسن عسگری (ع): مَا أَقْبَحَ بِالْمُؤْمِنِ أَنْ تَكُونَ لَهُ رَغْبَةٌ تُذِلُّهُ
“How unbecoming it is for a believer to have a desire that humiliates him.”
(Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 75, p. 374)
Educational messages of this hadith for teenagers and youth
- Write Down Your Desires
Make a list of the things you strongly desire and think about where each desire may eventually lead you.
Practical Challenge: Write down five things you currently want and, next to each one, write: “Where could this desire take me?”
- Think Before You Enter a Path
Before starting a path, doing something or becoming attached to something, think about its final outcome. Remember that some of our desires may become a source of shame or regret, sooner or later.
Practical Challenge: Before your next important decision, write down one possible good outcome and one possible bad outcome.
- No Unnecessary Need for Approval
You do not need to act against your values or lower yourself just to be accepted by a group of friends.
Practical Challenge: This week, say “no” to one request from friends that goes against your values.
- Strengthen Your Ability to Say “No”
Not every desire – such as joining offensive jokes or risky behaviour – is worth giving up your dignity and principles.
Practical Challenge: Practise saying “No, I don’t want to do that” once when you face an unhealthy pressure.
- Control Short-Lived Emotions and Urges
Control sudden urges, such as excessive gaming or unhealthy habits, so that you remain in control of your life.
Practical Challenge: When you feel a strong urge to do something unnecessary, wait 15 minutes before acting on it.
- Control Material Greed
Control excessive material desires and focus on goals that are genuine and fit your human and Islamic identity.
Practical Challenge: Choose one unnecessary thing you want to buy and decide not to buy it; use the money or time for something meaningful instead.
- Don’t Let Likes Decide Your Worth
Your value does not increase when more people like your photos, posts or videos.
Practical Challenge: For one week, post nothing simply to get attention, and when you feel tempted to check your likes, wait at least 30 minutes before doing so.
- Don’t Become a Slave to Trends
You do not have to buy, wear or do something just because everyone else is doing it.
Practical Challenge: The next time you want to buy something because it is fashionable, wait 48 hours and ask yourself, “Would I still want this if nobody knew I had it?”
- Choose Friends Without Begging for Acceptance
Wanting friendship is natural, but never sacrifice your values just to make someone accept you.
Practical Challenge: This week, say “no” to one invitation or request that goes against your values, even if you are worried that someone may be unhappy with you.
- Don’t Trade Your Dignity for Success
Good grades, money or a successful career are valuable, but they are not worth cheating, lying or losing your principles.
Practical Challenge: The next time you face a choice between an easy dishonest option and a harder honest one, deliberately choose the honest path and notice how you feel afterwards.
Educational messages of this hadith for parents
- Raise Children Who Bring You Honour
Your children are among your deepest attachments, so raise them to become a source of honour rather than regret.
Practical Challenge: Choose one character quality you want your child to have in the future and focus on developing it this week.
- Be the Example You Want Your Children to Become
If you want your children to become people of faith and dignity, you must first practise faith and dignity yourself.
Practical Challenge: Choose one behaviour you want your child to learn from you and consciously practise it every day this week.
- Build Self-Respect from Childhood
Strong self-respect helps children avoid choices and attachments that may humiliate them.
Practical Challenge: Every day this week, praise your child for one act of courage, self-control, honesty or good judgement.
- Do Not Put Appearances Above Dignity
Parents who borrow heavily or behave unwisely to impress others may teach their children that desires are more important than dignity.
Practical Challenge: Identify one family expense made mainly to impress others and discuss whether it is really worth it.
- Teach Children to Think About Consequences
Teach your children to look beyond the immediate pleasure of a choice and consider where it may lead.
Practical Challenge: Before your child makes an important choice this week, ask: “What might happen next if you choose this?”
- Teach Children to Question Their Desires
Instead of simply telling children “you cannot have that”, teach them to ask whether what they want is actually good for them.
Practical Challenge: The next time your child strongly asks for something, ask three questions together: “Why do you want it?”, “What will it change in your life?”, and “Could it control you?”
- Do Not Make Social Status the Goal
Children can easily learn from adults that expensive clothes, cars, houses or schools make people more valuable.
Practical Challenge: For one week, avoid praising people in front of your children mainly because of their money, possessions or social position.
- Help Children Handle Peer Pressure
A child who desperately needs other people’s approval may eventually give up their values to remain accepted.
Practical Challenge: Once this week, discuss a real-life situation in which a teenager might be pressured by friends, and practise together a simple sentence such as, “No, that is not for me.”
- Praise Character More Than Achievement
When children are praised only for grades, appearance or success, they may become desperate for achievement and fear failure.
Practical Challenge: For one week, make a conscious effort to praise your child at least once a day for honesty, patience, courage, kindness or self-control rather than for results.
Educational messages of this hadith for imams and teachers
- Teach Self-Respect Through Your Own Life
Students learn more from the behaviour of an imam or teacher than from speeches; dignity must be lived before it is taught.
Practical Challenge: This week, consciously refuse one unnecessary demand or temptation in a calm and dignified way, and let your students see that example.
- Avoid False Popularity
The desire to be popular should never make an imam or teacher abandon principles, ignore wrong behaviour or compromise dignity for attention.
Practical Challenge: Identify one situation in which you might be tempted to seek approval and choose principle over popularity.
- Teach the Difference Between Wanting and Needing
Young people need to understand that having a strong desire does not mean that the desire deserves to be fulfilled.
Practical Challenge: In your next lesson or sermon, present three everyday examples – money, popularity and entertainment – and ask students or worshippers to identify which desires can become harmful when they are not controlled.
- Talk About Modern Forms of Dependence
The idea of a desire that humiliates a person can be connected to everyday issues such as social-media approval, consumerism and the need for constant attention.
Practical Challenge: Dedicate ten minutes of one lesson or youth gathering to discussing one modern form of unhealthy attachment and invite young people to suggest practical ways to control it.
- Protect Dignity in the Classroom and Community
A teacher or imam should never use humiliation, public embarrassment or harsh comparison as a tool for changing people’s behaviour.
Practical Challenge: For one week, replace public criticism with private and respectful correction whenever a student or community member makes a mistake.
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