Tranquillity, Love and Mercy: The Qur’anic Vision of Marriage

Introduction and the occasion of reflecting on this ayah:

The 10^th of Ramadan marks the anniversary of the passing of Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (peace be upon her), the noble wife of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). On this occasion, we reflect on a Qur’anic verse that highlights the divine wisdom behind marriage and the essential role of spouses in building peaceful, loving and merciful families:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for people who reflect.” (Al-Rūm, 30:21)

Educational Messages of This Verse for Teens and Youth

1. Build Your Future Marriage Step by Step

A successful and peaceful marriage does not happen overnight. You prepare for it over time – by staying morally clean, making wise decisions, growing closer to God, and respecting the boundaries and honour of others.

Practical Challenge: This week, make one decision that protects your character and brings you closer to the person you hope to become in the future.

1. Be a Source of Peace, Not Stress

Build your relationship with your future spouse in a way that brings calmness and emotional safety, not tension and anxiety. You need to exercise for controlling your anger right from now.

Practical Challenge: Before reacting in anger, pause for ten seconds and choose words that create peace

2. Do Not Damage Other People’s Marriages

Be careful not to harm the peace and affection between other couples  –  even through jokes, gossip, messages or online behaviour. Anyone who harms the tranquillity and mercy of a family steps away from God’s path and moves towards division.

Practical Challenge: If a conversation turns into gossip about a married couple, gently change the topic or leave it.

3. Think Deeply About Marriage

Only people who reflect truly understand the constructive role of marriage  –  “for people who reflect” (لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ).

Practical Challenge: Spend fifteen minutes this week thinking about what a healthy, God-centred marriage really means, and write down three insights.

4. Marriage Is About Tranquillity, Not Just Emotion

True relationships bring peace, not drama or constant stress. Choose your future spouse based on this criterion.

Practical Challenge: Choose your future spouse based on the criterion of how much peace you find with them. Fleeting desires usually bring anxiety rather than calm.

5. Love Must Include Mercy

As reflected in this Ayah, real love includes patience, forgiveness and kindness.

Practical Challenge: Practise one act of forgiveness this week.

6. Choose Character Over Appearance

Affection and mercy grow from good character, not outward attraction alone.

Practical Challenge: List three-character qualities of your future spouse you value more than looks.

7. Respect the Institution of Marriage

Do not treat marriage lightly in conversations or online culture.

Practical Challenge: Avoid sharing content that mocks marriage or family life.

Educational Messages of This Verse for Parents

1. Guide Your Children Towards a Sound Islamic Marriage

Teach your children the values and criteria of an Islamic marriage that lead to stability, tranquillity and long-term success, and protect them from harmful influences along the way.

Practical Challenge: This month, have one open and calm conversation with your child about what truly makes a marriage successful in Islam.

2. Model Affection and Mercy

Children learn the style and impacts of a good marriage by watching you.

Practical Challenge: Express appreciation to your spouse in front of your children this week.

3. Create a Peaceful Home

A home should be a place of emotional safety for the parents and children.

Practical Challenge: Reduce one source of tension in your household.

4. Teach Healthy Relationship Skills

Teach communication, patience and respect.

Practical Challenge: Have one calm family discussion without interruptions.

5. Support Wise Marriage Decisions

Guide your children towards thoughtful and faith-based choices.

Practical Challenge: Discuss the meaning of tranquillity in marriage with your child.

6. Protect Family Time

Modern life weakens family bonds through busyness and screens.

Practical Challenge: Establish one device-free family day this week.

Educational Messages of This Verse for Imams, Chaplains and Religious Leaders

1. Clarify Sound Islamic Marriage Criteria

Explain clearly the ethical and Islamic standards for marriage so young people are not misled by superficial or harmful cultural trends.

Practical Challenge: Dedicate five minutes in your next khutbah to discussing one key Islamic criterion for choosing a spouse.

2. Teach How to Nurture Affection and Mercy

Guide couples on practical ways to protect and strengthen love and mercy in their marriage and remind them that this bond is a divine trust.

Practical Challenge: Share three simple habits that increase tranquillity between spouses in your next talk.

3. Warn Against Modern Threats to Family Stability

Address today’s social risks – such as social media misuse, gossip, unrealistic expectations, or outside interference – that weaken affection and mercy between couples.

Practical Challenge: In an upcoming sermon, highlight one common mistake that damages marital harmony and suggest a faith-based solution.

4. Promote Mercy in Family Disputes

Encourage reconciliation and compassionate dialogue.

Practical Challenge: Offer a mediation session for couples in need.

5. Counter Harmful Cultural Practices

Distinguish Islamic values from cultural pressures that damage marriages.

Practical Challenge: Clarify one common cultural misconception in your next talk.

6. Prepare Youth for Responsible Marriage

Offer structured pre-marital education in the mosque.

Practical Challenge: Organise a workshop on Islamic marriage foundations.