The Gateway to the Heart: Mastering the Art of Conscious Listening

Introduction

The 12th of Jamadi al-Thani marks the blessed birth anniversary of the renowned scholar and mystic, Haj Agha Rahim Arbab. Among his many virtues, he was particularly distinguished for his strict adherence to ethical principles and moral foundations throughout his life. He believed that the path to spiritual elevation required constant vigilance over one’s senses and actions. Haj Agha Rahim Arbab says: “In scholarly matters, I make no claims. But in my personal life, I make two claims: first, that in all my years I have never backbitten nor listened to backbiting; and second, that throughout my life my eyes have never fallen upon a non-maḥram.”

In honour of this occasion and to emulate his commitment to self-discipline, we turn to the “Hadith of the Week” for this issue. We reflect upon a profound instruction from the Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali (AS), regarding the sanctity of our hearing:

عَوِّدْ أُذُنَكَ حُسْنَ اَلاِسْتِمَاعِ وَ لاَ تَصْغِ إِلاَّ إِلَى مَا يَزِيدُ فِي صَلاَحِكَ اِسْتِمَاعُهُ فَإِنَّ ذَلِكَ يُصْدِي اَلْقُلُوبَ وَ يُوجِبُ اَلْمُذَامَّ

“Accustom your ear to good listening and do not pay attention to anything unless listening to it increases your righteousness; for indeed, that (listening to the wrong things) rusts the hearts and necessitates blame.” (Ghurar al-Hikam wa Durar al-Kalim, Vol. 1, p. 457)

Educational messages from the hadith for teens and youths

1. The Digital Diet

Just as you choose healthy food for your body, you must strictly filter the music, podcasts, and social media content you consume to ensure they do not pollute your mind.

Practical Challenge: Audit your social media following list today; unfollow at least three accounts that promote gossip, vanity, or negativity.

2. The Anti-Gossip Shield

Listening to gossip or bullying, even if you do not speak it yourself, participates in the sin and “rusts the heart.”

Practical Challenge: Next time a friend starts speaking ill of someone behind their back, politely say, “Let’s talk about something else,” or physically leave the conversation.

3. Intellectual Nourishment

Use your hearing to acquire wisdom that aids your future and character, rather than passive entertainment that dulls the intellect.

Practical Challenge: Dedicate 15 minutes this week to listening to a scientific or ethical podcast instead of your usual music playlist.

4. Filtering Negativity

Protect your self-esteem by refusing to internalise the harsh words or discouragement of others, which can corrupt your hope and ambition.

Practical Challenge: If you hear a negative comment about your abilities, immediately counter it by writing down one of your strengths or achievements.

Educational messages from the hadith for parents

1. The Tone of the Home

Parents must ensure their home is not filled with the sounds of shouting, inappropriate news, or vulgar media, as these ambient sounds shape the child’s soul.

Practical Challenge: Implement a “Peaceful Dinner” rule where the television is off, and no arguments are allowed during the meal for one week.

2. Discernment in Advice

Do not listen to every source of parenting advice found online; listening to conflicting or toxic comparison culture increases anxiety rather than righteousness.

Practical Challenge: Identify one “influencer” or source that makes you feel inadequate as a parent and mute or block them.

3. Validating the Child’s Voice

Accustom your ears to truly hearing your child’s concerns; ignoring them causes their hearts to distance themselves from you.

Practical Challenge: Spend 10 minutes with your child asking about their day, with the specific goal of listening only – offer no advice, just validation.

4. Modelling Attentiveness

Children learn “good listening” by watching you; if you listen to them whilst distracted, they will learn to do the same to others.

Practical Challenge: When your child addresses you, physically stop what you are doing (washing dishes, typing), make eye contact, and listen for 30 seconds.

Educational messages from the hadith for imams, chaplains and religious leaders

1. The Pulpit of Practice: Combating Slander

It is essential to address the severe social and spiritual corrosion caused by backbiting (Gheebat) and slander (Tohmat) in your sermons. However, eloquent speech is not enough; you must emulate Haj Agha Rahim Arbab, who was renowned for strictly prohibiting such speech in his presence. Be the practical embodiment of this virtue; if the leader refuses to lend an ear to gossip, the community will learn that such behaviour has no place in a righteous society.

Practical Challenge: Dedicate a sermon to the specific harms of verbal sins this week. During the speech, make a public pledge to your congregation – citing Haj Agha Arbab’s example – that you will personally refuse to listen to any backbiting brought to you, and invite them to hold you accountable to this standard.

2. The Pulse of the People

A leader must listen to the grievances and needs of the community to ensure their sermons remain relevant and increase the public’s righteousness.

Practical Challenge: Schedule a specific hour this week for “Open Listening” where congregants can speak to you privately about their struggles.

3. Seeking Constructive Critique

To avoid spiritual stagnation, one must listen to honest feedback regarding one’s conduct and sermons, even if it is difficult to hear.

Practical Challenge: Ask a trusted, wise member of your congregation to give you one specific piece of critical feedback on your last sermon.

4. The Ear of Compassion

Listen to the sinner not to judge, but to diagnose the spiritual ailment; “good listening” is the first step in providing a cure.

Practical Challenge: In your next counselling session, focus entirely on the emotions behind the person’s words rather than formulating your religious ruling immediately.