“Neither Grieve for What Escapes You nor Boast in What Is Given”: The Qur’anic Ethic of Detachment

Introduction

On 18 Jumada al-Thānī we remember Shaykh Murtada al-Ansari – honoured as Khatam al-Fuqahāʾ wa-l-Mujtahidīn – who combined towering scholarship in fiqh and uṣūl with remarkable personal austerity. Although he received substantial religious revenues from across the Muslim world, he died owning only seventeen tomans and with the same amount in debt. In tribute to his example, this week’s ayah reflects the Qur’anic spirit of zuhd (detachment) – a balance between taking lawful provision and guarding the heart against grief over loss or pride in gain:

لِكَيْلَا تَأْسَوْا عَلَى مَا فَاتَكُمْ وَلَا تَفْرَحُوا بِمَا آتَاكُمْ (الحدید: 23)

“So that you may not grieve over what has escaped you, nor exult arrogantly over what He has given you.” (Al-Ḥadīd 57:23)

Educational messages from the ayah for teens and youth

1. Being Content with God’s Decree While Striving Hard

Accepting God’s decree does not mean being passive; do your best through real effort and leave the results to Him.

Practical Challenge: Choose one small goal for this week, take a concrete step toward it, and then write: “My effort is done; I trust God with the outcome.”

2. Humility in Success

Success should make you more grateful and humble, not arrogant or self-centred — let your achievements become a means of serving others.

Practical Challenge: After any small success, thank someone who contributed to it and perform one small act of kindness.

3. Hope and Calm in Hardship

Difficulties should not lead you to despair or restlessness; patience and trust in God give you strength and clarity to overcome challenges.

Practical Challenge: When you feel stressed this week, take five deep breaths, recite a short dhikr, and write down one small, practical step you can take to address the problem.

4. Measure worth by character, not by likes

In a culture of online validation, your value is not the sum of social media metrics; character and conduct matter more.

Practical challenge: Spend 48 hours without posting on social media and reflect on three non-digital things that make you proud.

5. Turn missed opportunities into fuel, not ruin

Not getting what you wanted is painful but can teach resilience and clearer priorities.

Practical challenge: After a disappointment, write one short lesson learned and one practical next step.

6. Choose contentment over consumer pressure

Trends change rapidly; practising contentment protects your time, money and self-respect.

Practical challenge: Delay buying a wanted non-essential item for two weeks and note how your desire changes.

7. Keep spiritual priorities when planning your future

Career and success are important but let ethical and spiritual aims shape your choices.

Practical challenge: Draft a one-paragraph statement of what “a good life” means to you, including spiritual goals.

Educational messages from the ayah for parents

1. Model emotional steadiness in gain and loss

Children learn how to react to success and setbacks by watching you.

Practical challenge: Share a recent loss and how you managed it calmly, explaining what you learned.

2. Teach gratitude as a daily habit

Gratitude reduces envy and pride; make it a routine in family life.

Practical challenge: Start a short nightly family ritual: each person names one small thing they are grateful for.

3. Practising generosity

Giving and charity help us – and our children – avoid becoming overly attached to our possessions.

Practical challenge: Involve your child in making a small charitable donation.

4. Normalise setbacks and growth

Frame failure as learning; this prevents shame and unhealthy comparisons.

Practical challenge: After a setback, hold a short family conversation on what can be tried next instead of dwelling on blame.

Educational messages from the ayah for imams, chaplains and religious leaders

1. Preach a balanced doctrine of zuhud

Present zuhud not as renunciation of responsibility, but as inner freedom from attachment.

Practical challenge: Devote a sermon to explaining how zuhud supports ethical leadership and communal service.

2. Counsel congregants through loss and prosperity

Offer practical spiritual and psychological support when people face bereavement, debt or sudden gain.

Practical challenge: Set up monthly drop-in hours for quiet pastoral counsel on financial and emotional stresses.

3. Teach resilience and hope through this ayah

Use the verse to show that when believers do not despair over loss nor become intoxicated by gain, they develop a stable, hopeful heart rooted in trust in Allah.

Practical challenge: Prepare a short reminder this week connecting the ayah to everyday struggles – such as job uncertainty or family stress – and highlight how trusting Allah’s wisdom nurtures resilience.