Marriage as a Source of Tranquillity: Reflections on Qur’an 30:21

Introduction

The 10^th of Rabiʿ al-Awwal marks the blessed marriage of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and Lady Khadijah (peace be upon her) in the year 25 of ʿĀm al-Fīl (the Year of the Elephant). Marriage is not only a social bond but also a spiritual sign, as described in the Qur’an:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ (الروم/٢١)

“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in this are signs for people who reflect.” (Qur’an 30:21)

Educational messages of the verse for youth

• Seeking Righteous Marriage

When the time is right, look for marriage with a righteous Muslim who will strengthen your faith.

Practical Challenge: Make duʿāʾ once a day for Allah to guide you to a righteous spouse in the future.

• Marriage as Tranquillity

When choosing a spouse, ask yourself whether they will help you find true peace, remembering that real tranquillity lies in servitude to Allah.

Practical Challenge: Discuss with a trusted mentor or family member what “peace in marriage” means to you and how faith supports it.

• Choosing Compatibility

Consider whether your future spouse shares your values, ambitions, and religious commitment. Compatibility protects the marriage.

Practical Challenge: Write down three qualities you believe are essential in a future spouse.

• Affection and Mercy as Foundations

A successful marriage is built on affection and mercy, which should never be replaced by wealth, status, or appearance.

Practical Challenge: Share a kind word with a friend or sibling every day to practise mercy in small ways.

• Rejecting Harmful Media Models

Many modern portrayals of relationships promote selfishness.

Practical Challenge: Unfollow one media account that normalises toxic relationships.

• Preparing for the Future

Building good character now helps you become a supportive spouse later.

Practical Challenge: Choose one habit (e.g., punctuality, honesty) and practise it daily for a week.

Educational messages of the verse for parents

• Prioritising Your Marriage Bond

Keep away from anyone or anything that distances you from your spouse, and give your relationship the highest priority.

Practical Challenge: Set aside one evening this week to spend exclusively with your spouse, free from work, social media, or outside distractions.

• Teaching Affection by Example

The way parents treat each other with affection is a living lesson for children about how to treat their future spouses.

Practical Challenge: Show a daily act of kindness to your spouse in front of your children.

• Protecting Affection through Reflection

Preserving love between spouses requires wisdom; nothing is worth sacrificing this bond.

Practical Challenge: Before reacting to a disagreement, pause for one minute and consider if your response will build or damage affection.

• The Role of a Spouse as a Source of Peace

Each parent must create calm and reassurance for their spouse and children, even in stressful circumstances.

Practical Challenge: Dedicate ten minutes each evening to calm family conversation without distractions.

• Avoiding Harm to Family Unity

Any behaviour that damages the peace, affection, or mercy within the family distances one from God and aligns with Satan.

Practical Challenge: Identify one harmful habit (e.g., raising your voice unnecessarily, neglecting family time) and work to reduce it this week.

• Guiding Toward Responsible Marriage

Teach children that marriage is about responsibility, not just desire.

Practical Challenge: Share one story from the Prophet’s marriage with Khadijah to inspire your children.

• Balancing Work and Family

Modern life often distances parents from their families.

Practical Challenge: Dedicate at least 30 minutes daily to uninterrupted family interaction.

Educational messages of the verse for imams and religious leaders

• Supporting Unmarried Youth

Provide guidance and assistance to young people who are unable to marry, either by helping them find a suitable spouse or by supporting them to maintain purity during their period of singleness.

Practical Challenge: Organise a counselling session or mentoring programme this month for unmarried youth in your community, addressing both marriage preparation and personal conduct.

• Explaining Criteria for a Righteous Spouse

Teach your audience the qualities to look for in a spouse so that their marriage truly reflects the meaning of Qur’an 30:21: faith, character, compatibility, and the ability to cultivate tranquillity, affection, and mercy.

Practical Challenge: Include in your next sermon or community session a brief practical guide on how to recognise these qualities when choosing a spouse.

• Addressing Social Challenges Around Marriage

Tackle issues like rising divorce or delayed marriages with practical advice.

Practical Challenge: Organise a seminar on healthy relationships for youth.

• Encouraging Mercy in Marital Disputes

Guide couples to resolve issues with patience.

Practical Challenge: In counselling, emphasise reconciliation over confrontation.